I've been wanting to write this one for many months now, but haven't found the best way to do it. It is in my brain and I have to get it out. So at the risk of judgement and criticism and losing more friends, here goes.
This journey through Autism is draining and difficult but also the most rewarding trip I've ever taken. One of the harder parts has nothing to do with my kid's behaviors, but so much to do with those people I call and used to call "friends". Finding and keeping friends who don't judge, who understand and who are supportive is tough. Really tough. I remember losing all my "mom's club" friends when diagnosis came at 2 years old... then I gained many "spectrum mommy" friends over the years... and now I feel as if that circle of friends is disconnecting, and I'm seeking support again. Maybe it's the end of the school year, maybe I'm just completely annoying (if it is this, someone needs to tell me!), or quite possibly Jake's needs are just too much or too different for some to handle/understand. Whatever it is, this path is a lonely plod. Don't waste time on friends who judge, question and complain. (I say to myself as well) Seek out those who will just love you for who you are and love your kid even more. Support and encouragement is what we all need! (Where would I be without my sisters? They have to love me, we're related! HA!) There's too little time for us on Earth to spend it feeling hurt and alone. Grab on to love as you find it (sometimes its in the place you expect it the least) and don't let go. Also, it doesn't hurt to give it back as well. Helping others makes God smile. Aaaahhhh I feel so much better now. Thanks for listening. Funny how I wrote almost this exact story in 2011 and was worried about hurting feelings then too! Let it go, lonliness is no joke! Read "Alone on the Spectrum"
1 Comment
Bernadette Viland
5/5/2013 12:42:58 pm
So many people just do not understand and there is a lot of fear out there. Sometimes I feel people think Autism is contagious!! Today I had the joyful experience of meeting Dennis who reminded me of an older Tyler. H was around 14 yrs old. I had to work today at a blood drive in Reston Town Center during a March of Dimes walk. Dennis' Dad came to donate blood. I told his Dad about my Tyler and how wonderful it was to meet him and his handsome son. He told me Dennis was not very verbal, but Dennis let me hold his flapping hands in mine and let me talk with him. Oh what a joy and privilege to meet this special boy! He sat on the bloodmobile and waited for his Dad and all of my staff were great with him. The Dad shared with me how hard it is and I told him how God picks the perfect parents for these precious children. He laughed and said, I guess so. I told him how wonderful my Erica and Aaron are and I know it is hard, but thank God everyday for all of you special parents. Know that you are never alone and that Jake is safe and loved with you and Chris. Your rewards are not only in this world. You are a fantastic Mom and never forget it. With love, Bernadette
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