Teachers, Mentors and School (6)
Angels in Yellow
6/28/13
You know you’ve seen them.
They sometimes stop traffic when you’re in a rush to get to work.
They often times make noise that wakes you out of bed in the morning.
But this time, they’ve changed one young man’s world.
What I like to call our “angels in yellow”… a work crew from the county, in charge of fixing what Jake calls “bumpy sidewalks”!
We first met a couple years ago when they started repairing sidewalks in our neighborhood. Jake was younger, obviously, and still obsessed with chasing down and stalking every big truck that came into our neighborhood.
We’d follow the sounds of the roaring engines and find the diggers, dumpers and scoopers before getting on the bus in the mornings. We made friendly chatter, if any, in those early days and then one day they were gone.
Jake was sad that they left before finishing all the sidewalks in our ‘hood, primarily our cul-de-sac, but we knew one day someone would return to finish the job.
This week… they came!
And much to my surprise they remembered Jake. One of the guys, D, said he actually took a couple spins around our court trying to figure out where Jake’s house was. They not only remembered our super hero, they sought him out. That right there makes them very special humans.
Earlier this week, I heard the trucks, spotted the cement truck and alerted Jake. This exciting news was enough to pull him away from his computer game, believe it or not, and dart outside barely dressed.
Barefoot and shirtless he darted across the circle to see the crew of men replacing the bumpy sidewalk. Soon, one of them handed him a stick. He’s asking them what he can do to help. Now he’s on his knees, still shirtless, playing in fresh cement.
As soon as they smoothed it over, he’d mess it up. One worker taught him how to “smooth the edges” with a special tool. He didn’t tell him just once and let it go. Nope. He held the handle, totally in Jake’s personal space, (it didn’t even bother him) and helped him maneuver the flattening tool.
“Push it down hard towards the board, and lift the end on the way back!”
They practiced again and again until Jake got it right.
Here I thought this was going to be a morning of quick hellos and pleasantries, next thing I knew Jake was darting into the house to get his shoes… next a work shirt! The men were so patient, and so gentle and caring, they didn’t see me wiping away tears.
Jake was beaming, in his element, just “one of the guys” for the first time in his life. He could do the work of “big men” and be encouraged along the way. (I'd be lying if I said my mind didn't flash to the future)
Each took a turn, talking with Jake, teaching him about their portion of the job process, and reinforcing him even when he was sort of making MORE work for them. They explained it in his terms so he could understand and answered his endless “why” questions.
I was so moved by their generosity and patience with our super hero, we bought them donuts for breakfast the next day. Jake was so excited he could barely stand it. He told me what to order and how many to get. “Lots because they work really hard doing man’s work!” Little did I know, some of them were "watching their waistlines!" (I'm talking to you handsome)
We pulled into the garage and saw one truck parked a few houses down. Jake bounded into the garage with the donuts and could barely wait for the rest of his new friends to arrive. Slowly, truck by truck they came. He ran outside with the boxes of sugary fried goo and handed them to the men.
“What are we doing today?” he asked eagerly.
I’m not sure if he loves to work for the reinforcement he was receiving or for the idea of “being a man”, but either way, this kid was impossible to stop. Hammer in hand, he was bashing the spikes to loosen the boards lining the newly poured sidewalk.
“Don’t hold the hammer so close to the head you’re gonna hit your hand!!!” exclaimed on man the crew affectionately calls Gilligan… I think it’s because of his hat… well I hope it’s only because of his funny hat!
Another worker peeled off his worn work glove to show Jake what happens if you pound your finger. “See that blood blister there… it really hurt… ‘and he cried like a baby,’ added Gilligan! “I did not,” said D. Jake hung on every word they said. Processing slowly.
From loosening spikes, to filling in the sides of the walk with dirt and spreading seed… Jake could not be stopped. Many times I was told to back away and “let me do man’s work alone!” I hung back and chatted with a couple of the guys, keeping one eyeball on my super hero at all times. (there was a liability to be considered)
When driving down the road or passing workers in traffic, I have never stopped to think about their lives. Each one has a story, a family and a history. I never really wondered about their kids, parents or siblings until today.
Meeting each member of this crew, again, gave me an entirely different affection and understanding of the lives they lead. At separate times, different workers opened up and shared a little personal piece of their lives with me. I was extremely honored and touched by this. We all travel similar paths, just take different turns along the way.
Here they are working their butts off in the heat, bothered by an energetic 10 year old with ASD and they still took time to reveal their softer side. Their compassionate side.
They didn’t need to take time to teach Jake how to do their jobs.
They didn’t need to give me the time of day.
But each one of them took the time to show Jake a man’s world. What role models they were for my guy. I don’t know if they do this for every kid that chases them around the neighborhood, but they did it for my kid.
They gave Jake an opportunity to try and be just like one of the guys. An opportunity to be accepted, understood, instructed and wear a snazzy yellow vest. An opportunity they didn’t have to give.
So Mike, Luis, Dane, Brandon, John, Brian, and Norman you all need to be commended. For the work you did in our ‘hood will not only provide safe support for all residents walking by, but you’ve also given one little man confidence and strength under his wings to soar.
Now if you could only tell me how to wash concrete splashes out of sweatpants!
Hope to see you all again soon!
Stay cool and drop by any time! You all are super heroes in my book!
They sometimes stop traffic when you’re in a rush to get to work.
They often times make noise that wakes you out of bed in the morning.
But this time, they’ve changed one young man’s world.
What I like to call our “angels in yellow”… a work crew from the county, in charge of fixing what Jake calls “bumpy sidewalks”!
We first met a couple years ago when they started repairing sidewalks in our neighborhood. Jake was younger, obviously, and still obsessed with chasing down and stalking every big truck that came into our neighborhood.
We’d follow the sounds of the roaring engines and find the diggers, dumpers and scoopers before getting on the bus in the mornings. We made friendly chatter, if any, in those early days and then one day they were gone.
Jake was sad that they left before finishing all the sidewalks in our ‘hood, primarily our cul-de-sac, but we knew one day someone would return to finish the job.
This week… they came!
And much to my surprise they remembered Jake. One of the guys, D, said he actually took a couple spins around our court trying to figure out where Jake’s house was. They not only remembered our super hero, they sought him out. That right there makes them very special humans.
Earlier this week, I heard the trucks, spotted the cement truck and alerted Jake. This exciting news was enough to pull him away from his computer game, believe it or not, and dart outside barely dressed.
Barefoot and shirtless he darted across the circle to see the crew of men replacing the bumpy sidewalk. Soon, one of them handed him a stick. He’s asking them what he can do to help. Now he’s on his knees, still shirtless, playing in fresh cement.
As soon as they smoothed it over, he’d mess it up. One worker taught him how to “smooth the edges” with a special tool. He didn’t tell him just once and let it go. Nope. He held the handle, totally in Jake’s personal space, (it didn’t even bother him) and helped him maneuver the flattening tool.
“Push it down hard towards the board, and lift the end on the way back!”
They practiced again and again until Jake got it right.
Here I thought this was going to be a morning of quick hellos and pleasantries, next thing I knew Jake was darting into the house to get his shoes… next a work shirt! The men were so patient, and so gentle and caring, they didn’t see me wiping away tears.
Jake was beaming, in his element, just “one of the guys” for the first time in his life. He could do the work of “big men” and be encouraged along the way. (I'd be lying if I said my mind didn't flash to the future)
Each took a turn, talking with Jake, teaching him about their portion of the job process, and reinforcing him even when he was sort of making MORE work for them. They explained it in his terms so he could understand and answered his endless “why” questions.
I was so moved by their generosity and patience with our super hero, we bought them donuts for breakfast the next day. Jake was so excited he could barely stand it. He told me what to order and how many to get. “Lots because they work really hard doing man’s work!” Little did I know, some of them were "watching their waistlines!" (I'm talking to you handsome)
We pulled into the garage and saw one truck parked a few houses down. Jake bounded into the garage with the donuts and could barely wait for the rest of his new friends to arrive. Slowly, truck by truck they came. He ran outside with the boxes of sugary fried goo and handed them to the men.
“What are we doing today?” he asked eagerly.
I’m not sure if he loves to work for the reinforcement he was receiving or for the idea of “being a man”, but either way, this kid was impossible to stop. Hammer in hand, he was bashing the spikes to loosen the boards lining the newly poured sidewalk.
“Don’t hold the hammer so close to the head you’re gonna hit your hand!!!” exclaimed on man the crew affectionately calls Gilligan… I think it’s because of his hat… well I hope it’s only because of his funny hat!
Another worker peeled off his worn work glove to show Jake what happens if you pound your finger. “See that blood blister there… it really hurt… ‘and he cried like a baby,’ added Gilligan! “I did not,” said D. Jake hung on every word they said. Processing slowly.
From loosening spikes, to filling in the sides of the walk with dirt and spreading seed… Jake could not be stopped. Many times I was told to back away and “let me do man’s work alone!” I hung back and chatted with a couple of the guys, keeping one eyeball on my super hero at all times. (there was a liability to be considered)
When driving down the road or passing workers in traffic, I have never stopped to think about their lives. Each one has a story, a family and a history. I never really wondered about their kids, parents or siblings until today.
Meeting each member of this crew, again, gave me an entirely different affection and understanding of the lives they lead. At separate times, different workers opened up and shared a little personal piece of their lives with me. I was extremely honored and touched by this. We all travel similar paths, just take different turns along the way.
Here they are working their butts off in the heat, bothered by an energetic 10 year old with ASD and they still took time to reveal their softer side. Their compassionate side.
They didn’t need to take time to teach Jake how to do their jobs.
They didn’t need to give me the time of day.
But each one of them took the time to show Jake a man’s world. What role models they were for my guy. I don’t know if they do this for every kid that chases them around the neighborhood, but they did it for my kid.
They gave Jake an opportunity to try and be just like one of the guys. An opportunity to be accepted, understood, instructed and wear a snazzy yellow vest. An opportunity they didn’t have to give.
So Mike, Luis, Dane, Brandon, John, Brian, and Norman you all need to be commended. For the work you did in our ‘hood will not only provide safe support for all residents walking by, but you’ve also given one little man confidence and strength under his wings to soar.
Now if you could only tell me how to wash concrete splashes out of sweatpants!
Hope to see you all again soon!
Stay cool and drop by any time! You all are super heroes in my book!
------------------------------------------------------------------
EEEEK an IEP!
February 17, 2011
So this blog I’m writing as therapy for myself, to force positivity. Mapping out the Individual Educational Plan (IEP) for a special needs child is a very detailed and specific process. You’re forced to constantly look forward to the next school year (and beyond) and the requirements of an extremely competitive school system. Will he get a diploma or a completion certificate? Which type of standardized testing holds success for Jake? Mainstream? Eeeekk!
I tend to get hung up on the fact that Superhero Jake is below grade level overall, math is a mystery and comprehensive reading will be a reality, some day. I need to force myself to look at the positive and accept our miracle child for who he is! But to do that, we must take a look back, not forward.
Look at where this child has come from! I can remember his first day of pre-school. He chewed his fingernails off just trying to tolerate other kids in the class, could do nothing but pound the little hammer/shape toy with all his might and spin anything within reach. The first day of PEP Inc presented me with waves of panic putting him on the school bus alone. He jumped when the teacher started shaking a can full of beans near him and darted for the door when kids came too close. Loud sounds, bright lights and even subtle smells were paralyzing and highly distracting for this Superhero with his heightened senses.
These days, Jake has overcome so many obstacles to be extremely verbal, social, engaging and more tolerant. Through daily practice, constant correction, and persistent prompting Jake has made tremendous progress. He can sit now during story time, walk down the hall in a line and invite other children to play with him. In five years, if we continue at this level of growth, who knows what Jake will be able to accomplish?
We’re well aware our Superhero may not be Valedictorian, but look at the lives he’s impacted already! Our teachers, therapists and doctors, past/present make up a beautiful support staff for ‘team Jake’. Whether we’re on their patient list or not, Jake has the ability to engage people, form bonds and stay connected: touching lives, sharing love and giving hope.
EEEEK an IEP!
February 17, 2011
So this blog I’m writing as therapy for myself, to force positivity. Mapping out the Individual Educational Plan (IEP) for a special needs child is a very detailed and specific process. You’re forced to constantly look forward to the next school year (and beyond) and the requirements of an extremely competitive school system. Will he get a diploma or a completion certificate? Which type of standardized testing holds success for Jake? Mainstream? Eeeekk!
I tend to get hung up on the fact that Superhero Jake is below grade level overall, math is a mystery and comprehensive reading will be a reality, some day. I need to force myself to look at the positive and accept our miracle child for who he is! But to do that, we must take a look back, not forward.
Look at where this child has come from! I can remember his first day of pre-school. He chewed his fingernails off just trying to tolerate other kids in the class, could do nothing but pound the little hammer/shape toy with all his might and spin anything within reach. The first day of PEP Inc presented me with waves of panic putting him on the school bus alone. He jumped when the teacher started shaking a can full of beans near him and darted for the door when kids came too close. Loud sounds, bright lights and even subtle smells were paralyzing and highly distracting for this Superhero with his heightened senses.
These days, Jake has overcome so many obstacles to be extremely verbal, social, engaging and more tolerant. Through daily practice, constant correction, and persistent prompting Jake has made tremendous progress. He can sit now during story time, walk down the hall in a line and invite other children to play with him. In five years, if we continue at this level of growth, who knows what Jake will be able to accomplish?
We’re well aware our Superhero may not be Valedictorian, but look at the lives he’s impacted already! Our teachers, therapists and doctors, past/present make up a beautiful support staff for ‘team Jake’. Whether we’re on their patient list or not, Jake has the ability to engage people, form bonds and stay connected: touching lives, sharing love and giving hope.
------------------------------------
M Means HOPE
April 15, 2011
Another chapter in our lives has opened up with the arrival of our new friend M!
I first met M as one of my flute students, years ago. I’m not sure how they found me, now I believe it was divine intervention, but I still remember the first lesson. A very quiet, shy and nervous boy stood before me holding a shiny flute. I took note of the fact that he was a pre-teen boy with long brown hair that fell almost to his shoulders. He didn’t ‘fit the mold’ of other boys his age and seemed quietly confident. I recall his little fingers would shake though as he tried to make the first sounds on a very difficult instrument. Little did I know, he would become so much more to our family than one of my many gifted students.
His mom was awesome from the beginning; we clicked, chatted and consumed many gallons of coffee together. The more we talked the more I learned about M and the more he and Jake became strangely similar. On one of our recent ‘bon bon breakfasts’, MB (mom) and I shared our usual hilarious stories about the kids. She remarked how much M wanted to be a big brother as I outlined my desperate search for a role-model for Jake. MB mentioned M’s huge heart and passion for kids with special needs, his ability to understand them like no other teenager, as I voiced frustration in finding a responsible teen that ‘gets it’ and could form a bond with our Super Hero.
A-HA!!! Why don’t we get the boys together? Why didn’t we think of this sooner? Could this be happening? This could be a win-win-win! Some weeks later, after juggling calendars, scouts, karate, more scouts, flute lessons, therapies, it happened. Jake meets M and it was magical.
While I have been known to recruit my teenaged students for babysitting duty, this time it was different. Jake and M connect on another level entirely. A level I cannot seem to reach. They sit at the table communicating without speaking, giggling at each other, sharing darting eye contact, checking out each other’s mannerisms. Jake is already copying ‘big brother M’s’ language, behaviors and Wii game skills!
Recently, M was concerned about not understanding Jake’s verbal requests.(His language is a bit scripted and sometimes he emphasizes the wrong syllables or less important words in a phrase.) But over dinner, it was proven language is not important between these two. In fact, I was the one not understanding what Jake was talking about, and M was translating and explaining what he thought Jake was trying to say. I just looked at M and asked him how he knows that and I was met with, “well we practically share a brain!” There’s teasing, taunting and sarcasm as they take turns beating each other on the Wii. Typical behaviors coming simply and easily.
I never dreamed Jake would find this sort of friend: a role model, a big brother, a super hero in his own right. While M may not have all the same challenges and/or abilities as Jake, he has struggled with many of the same sensory issues himself. They build the same creative ways; they crave the same need for calm, and sense things that are missed by us mere mortals.
This relationship not only gives me hope for Jake’s ability to relate deeply to others, but M gives me hope as well. As a kiddo who struggled through his share of anxieties, as well as challenging academics he has persevered and proven himself. Now a high-schooler, M has a giant heart, understands, and gives completely.
Here’s hoping for a life-long friendship. In the words of Jake, "I'm so happy that guy, M, is coming over again!"
M stands for HOPE!
M Means HOPE
April 15, 2011
Another chapter in our lives has opened up with the arrival of our new friend M!
I first met M as one of my flute students, years ago. I’m not sure how they found me, now I believe it was divine intervention, but I still remember the first lesson. A very quiet, shy and nervous boy stood before me holding a shiny flute. I took note of the fact that he was a pre-teen boy with long brown hair that fell almost to his shoulders. He didn’t ‘fit the mold’ of other boys his age and seemed quietly confident. I recall his little fingers would shake though as he tried to make the first sounds on a very difficult instrument. Little did I know, he would become so much more to our family than one of my many gifted students.
His mom was awesome from the beginning; we clicked, chatted and consumed many gallons of coffee together. The more we talked the more I learned about M and the more he and Jake became strangely similar. On one of our recent ‘bon bon breakfasts’, MB (mom) and I shared our usual hilarious stories about the kids. She remarked how much M wanted to be a big brother as I outlined my desperate search for a role-model for Jake. MB mentioned M’s huge heart and passion for kids with special needs, his ability to understand them like no other teenager, as I voiced frustration in finding a responsible teen that ‘gets it’ and could form a bond with our Super Hero.
A-HA!!! Why don’t we get the boys together? Why didn’t we think of this sooner? Could this be happening? This could be a win-win-win! Some weeks later, after juggling calendars, scouts, karate, more scouts, flute lessons, therapies, it happened. Jake meets M and it was magical.
While I have been known to recruit my teenaged students for babysitting duty, this time it was different. Jake and M connect on another level entirely. A level I cannot seem to reach. They sit at the table communicating without speaking, giggling at each other, sharing darting eye contact, checking out each other’s mannerisms. Jake is already copying ‘big brother M’s’ language, behaviors and Wii game skills!
Recently, M was concerned about not understanding Jake’s verbal requests.(His language is a bit scripted and sometimes he emphasizes the wrong syllables or less important words in a phrase.) But over dinner, it was proven language is not important between these two. In fact, I was the one not understanding what Jake was talking about, and M was translating and explaining what he thought Jake was trying to say. I just looked at M and asked him how he knows that and I was met with, “well we practically share a brain!” There’s teasing, taunting and sarcasm as they take turns beating each other on the Wii. Typical behaviors coming simply and easily.
I never dreamed Jake would find this sort of friend: a role model, a big brother, a super hero in his own right. While M may not have all the same challenges and/or abilities as Jake, he has struggled with many of the same sensory issues himself. They build the same creative ways; they crave the same need for calm, and sense things that are missed by us mere mortals.
This relationship not only gives me hope for Jake’s ability to relate deeply to others, but M gives me hope as well. As a kiddo who struggled through his share of anxieties, as well as challenging academics he has persevered and proven himself. Now a high-schooler, M has a giant heart, understands, and gives completely.
Here’s hoping for a life-long friendship. In the words of Jake, "I'm so happy that guy, M, is coming over again!"
M stands for HOPE!
------------------------------------
Report Card Reality
April 7, 2011
Super Jake popped off the bus today in an unusually cheery mood and looking rather upbeat. What a relief that was! Little did we know he was armed with the most recent dose of educational reality. The manila envelope hastily stuffed in his back pack was just waiting to make or break the afternoon for me and our Super Hero. This isn’t like the behavior sheets that come home daily, with smiley faces for good behavior and ‘X’ for areas we need to work on. The report card is 12 pages long and rates Jake on his academics, effort, behavior and the minute details of a 40+ page IEP.
Our listing of skills doesn’t yet include the typical A,B,C,D,F’s and GPA’s usually earned in typical academic programs. We get to look at the sea of S (satisfactory) and O (outstanding) and decipher if progress, ANY progress, was made in reading, writing, social studies, math etc. Plus grades for task completion, participation, cooperation and following rules. This can be a daunting read unless we force ourselves to remember where we came from and how we landed where we are today.
We’ve had a difficult year and it has taken its toll on Super Jake. First quarter, Jake was distracted and distressed at the thought of a possible new brother. Second semester was the build-up to the holidays (always difficult), us travelling away for a weekend without Jake, and now the third quarter we’re switching meds. I’m praying that 2nd grade will not be remembered as a stagnant grade.
S-Strive! Our last quarter will focus, not on bringing B’s up to C’s, or 2.5’s up to 3.2’s, but improving behavior F (frequent prompts) to I (independent). No cramming for tests, no memorizing multiplication tables, just sitting, paying attention and showing self-control. Sounds so basic but it’s so NOT, and his future depends on success in these areas. Just keeping himself in control, self-regulation, for an entire day of school is extremely difficult and exhausting.
S-Slowing down! Jake’s biggest issue is that he ‘runs on high’, super powered high! Reading is challenged by his brain zipping through lines of words, guessing at what they might be and who the kid is sitting next to him. If a word starts with a “w” it must be WORLD, “th” must be THE, “f” must be FUN etc…. Constant prompts are needed to remind him to take his time and then some words will begin to blend into basic ideas. Math mysteries have been solved by counting blocks, balls and bears. Counting fingers was working for a while until last week. We were stuck on 2+2 (without manips) to help, I held up two fingers on each hand. Jake proudly yelled, “W”!
S-Success! Overall, Jake did improve his academics but still remains below grade level. That’s the hard pill to swallow. While our kiddos are taught the grade-level curriculum, it is presented in a modified manner. Whatever it takes for them to understand. In our case this means 1:1 ratio. A daunting statistic we savor as we move forward into higher grades.
S-Stop and think! While it’s always hard to digest these complex report cards and their bearing on real life, we have to look at the bigger picture. Many of our kids couldn’t even sit in a desk when they began early intervention or preschool. Walking in a line was a dream many miles away, eye contact and self-feeding a complete fantasy.
Every child does not fit into the same size ‘hole’… sort of the square peg – circle hole idea. So should they be graded and tested in the same way?(That's for you CS!)
As we dissect the wretched report card we can’t lose sight of what’s important to our family and in life.
Does a person really ‘succeed’ if they can take tests without accommodations and earn straight A’s in academics? What’s your idea of success?
What about the ability to engage another human being in meaningful, respectful, loving relationships?
If students graduate the IB program and attend GT schools, does that guarantee happiness?
What about the ability to sense when someone is upset and offer a hug or pat on the back?
How about showing empathy and compassion for other children having a ‘hard time’ or ‘bad day’?
While Jakey may struggle with the ABC’s of academics, focusing on a math skill and keeping his cool 24/7 he is one of the most compassionate, emotional, sensitive kiddos you’ll meet. He’ll offer a hug, engage you in conversation, share your pain, solve your stress, beg for forgiveness and force you to smile. That’s his super power and to us, that spells life-long SUCCESS!
Report Card Reality
April 7, 2011
Super Jake popped off the bus today in an unusually cheery mood and looking rather upbeat. What a relief that was! Little did we know he was armed with the most recent dose of educational reality. The manila envelope hastily stuffed in his back pack was just waiting to make or break the afternoon for me and our Super Hero. This isn’t like the behavior sheets that come home daily, with smiley faces for good behavior and ‘X’ for areas we need to work on. The report card is 12 pages long and rates Jake on his academics, effort, behavior and the minute details of a 40+ page IEP.
Our listing of skills doesn’t yet include the typical A,B,C,D,F’s and GPA’s usually earned in typical academic programs. We get to look at the sea of S (satisfactory) and O (outstanding) and decipher if progress, ANY progress, was made in reading, writing, social studies, math etc. Plus grades for task completion, participation, cooperation and following rules. This can be a daunting read unless we force ourselves to remember where we came from and how we landed where we are today.
We’ve had a difficult year and it has taken its toll on Super Jake. First quarter, Jake was distracted and distressed at the thought of a possible new brother. Second semester was the build-up to the holidays (always difficult), us travelling away for a weekend without Jake, and now the third quarter we’re switching meds. I’m praying that 2nd grade will not be remembered as a stagnant grade.
S-Strive! Our last quarter will focus, not on bringing B’s up to C’s, or 2.5’s up to 3.2’s, but improving behavior F (frequent prompts) to I (independent). No cramming for tests, no memorizing multiplication tables, just sitting, paying attention and showing self-control. Sounds so basic but it’s so NOT, and his future depends on success in these areas. Just keeping himself in control, self-regulation, for an entire day of school is extremely difficult and exhausting.
S-Slowing down! Jake’s biggest issue is that he ‘runs on high’, super powered high! Reading is challenged by his brain zipping through lines of words, guessing at what they might be and who the kid is sitting next to him. If a word starts with a “w” it must be WORLD, “th” must be THE, “f” must be FUN etc…. Constant prompts are needed to remind him to take his time and then some words will begin to blend into basic ideas. Math mysteries have been solved by counting blocks, balls and bears. Counting fingers was working for a while until last week. We were stuck on 2+2 (without manips) to help, I held up two fingers on each hand. Jake proudly yelled, “W”!
S-Success! Overall, Jake did improve his academics but still remains below grade level. That’s the hard pill to swallow. While our kiddos are taught the grade-level curriculum, it is presented in a modified manner. Whatever it takes for them to understand. In our case this means 1:1 ratio. A daunting statistic we savor as we move forward into higher grades.
S-Stop and think! While it’s always hard to digest these complex report cards and their bearing on real life, we have to look at the bigger picture. Many of our kids couldn’t even sit in a desk when they began early intervention or preschool. Walking in a line was a dream many miles away, eye contact and self-feeding a complete fantasy.
Every child does not fit into the same size ‘hole’… sort of the square peg – circle hole idea. So should they be graded and tested in the same way?(That's for you CS!)
As we dissect the wretched report card we can’t lose sight of what’s important to our family and in life.
Does a person really ‘succeed’ if they can take tests without accommodations and earn straight A’s in academics? What’s your idea of success?
What about the ability to engage another human being in meaningful, respectful, loving relationships?
If students graduate the IB program and attend GT schools, does that guarantee happiness?
What about the ability to sense when someone is upset and offer a hug or pat on the back?
How about showing empathy and compassion for other children having a ‘hard time’ or ‘bad day’?
While Jakey may struggle with the ABC’s of academics, focusing on a math skill and keeping his cool 24/7 he is one of the most compassionate, emotional, sensitive kiddos you’ll meet. He’ll offer a hug, engage you in conversation, share your pain, solve your stress, beg for forgiveness and force you to smile. That’s his super power and to us, that spells life-long SUCCESS!
-----------------------------------
Terrific Teachers Change Our World
March 18, 2011
During the journey of life with Autism we have amassed a small army of support that we could not live without. Special ed teachers and school staff can never be thanked enough. We provided an awesome buffet breakfast for our school professionals today, and I’d do it every day if I could.
The anchors of our “Team Jake” are those people who see him awake for more hours in a day than we do. Our teachers, starting from age 3 forward have become family members and we have been so blessed. They’ve been hit, kicked, bitten and bruised by our Super Hero throughout various stages of his delayed development. Day in and day out they continue to sort through behaviors and understand Jake’s bionic brain.
Communication is the key. As soon as we put him on the bus, an email beats him to school. They usually read something like this:
Sorry, sending you a hurricane that hasn’t pooped in 6 days.
Rough morning at home, you get the angel today.
Up at 4am reciting language arts. Homework too hard. Feed him pizza for lunch.
He’s really tired, changing meds, don’t push.
Watch for sandals, it’s warm outside, please redirect.
As a parent of a Super Hero, we have learned to trust our teachers and school staff as much as we trust our spouse. In our case, since 6 months of work with Jake can be undone in 2 minutes, we all have to be on the same page, every decision, every discipline, EVERY TIME.
Yet how do you appropriately thank this group of giving individuals, who, by becoming special educators, agree to submerge themselves into our families for the good of our child. Their hearts are huge and patience is palpable. If we could afford to give them gifts every day we would! Make them gourmet meals for lunch, send in fine candies and sweets or tickets to movies and sporting activities, absolutely!
On a recent occasion, Jake became overwhelmed during a school assembly. No one saw him slip out of the school into the street but boy everyone heard him once he was captured moments later. A 30 minute meltdown ensued. He hit, bit and screamed while 2 – 4 teachers worked with him to calm and keep him safe. When things calmed down, they helped clean him up, change his clothes and cool him off. One special staffer rode home with me in the car to make sure we made it there safely, as another staffer followed behind in her car. They care about our kids as much as they care for their own.
We are forever indebted to the work of all the staff at Jake’s schools current and past.
Preschool teachers helped potty train Jake, reinforced him with tiny treats and prepared him for earth-shattering changes like; a new seat at the table or an unexpected schedule change. Hugs were exchanged for sitting in circle, Starburst earned for dry pants and gum given for good looking. They became our friends, coaches and confidants throughout these 3-5 age years with home visits, short counseling sessions and advice on the fly during frantic phone calls. Their words of encouragement so needed during tough times.
I often times don’t feel worthy of the attention and support we get from the professionals who continue to touch our lives and love our Jakey. From the bus drivers to the lunch aides to the teachers we haven't even had yet. A simple thank you seems so trite when our hearts are bursting with appreciation and love for these outstanding individuals who are changing lives everyday.
Terrific Teachers Change Our World
March 18, 2011
During the journey of life with Autism we have amassed a small army of support that we could not live without. Special ed teachers and school staff can never be thanked enough. We provided an awesome buffet breakfast for our school professionals today, and I’d do it every day if I could.
The anchors of our “Team Jake” are those people who see him awake for more hours in a day than we do. Our teachers, starting from age 3 forward have become family members and we have been so blessed. They’ve been hit, kicked, bitten and bruised by our Super Hero throughout various stages of his delayed development. Day in and day out they continue to sort through behaviors and understand Jake’s bionic brain.
Communication is the key. As soon as we put him on the bus, an email beats him to school. They usually read something like this:
Sorry, sending you a hurricane that hasn’t pooped in 6 days.
Rough morning at home, you get the angel today.
Up at 4am reciting language arts. Homework too hard. Feed him pizza for lunch.
He’s really tired, changing meds, don’t push.
Watch for sandals, it’s warm outside, please redirect.
As a parent of a Super Hero, we have learned to trust our teachers and school staff as much as we trust our spouse. In our case, since 6 months of work with Jake can be undone in 2 minutes, we all have to be on the same page, every decision, every discipline, EVERY TIME.
Yet how do you appropriately thank this group of giving individuals, who, by becoming special educators, agree to submerge themselves into our families for the good of our child. Their hearts are huge and patience is palpable. If we could afford to give them gifts every day we would! Make them gourmet meals for lunch, send in fine candies and sweets or tickets to movies and sporting activities, absolutely!
On a recent occasion, Jake became overwhelmed during a school assembly. No one saw him slip out of the school into the street but boy everyone heard him once he was captured moments later. A 30 minute meltdown ensued. He hit, bit and screamed while 2 – 4 teachers worked with him to calm and keep him safe. When things calmed down, they helped clean him up, change his clothes and cool him off. One special staffer rode home with me in the car to make sure we made it there safely, as another staffer followed behind in her car. They care about our kids as much as they care for their own.
We are forever indebted to the work of all the staff at Jake’s schools current and past.
Preschool teachers helped potty train Jake, reinforced him with tiny treats and prepared him for earth-shattering changes like; a new seat at the table or an unexpected schedule change. Hugs were exchanged for sitting in circle, Starburst earned for dry pants and gum given for good looking. They became our friends, coaches and confidants throughout these 3-5 age years with home visits, short counseling sessions and advice on the fly during frantic phone calls. Their words of encouragement so needed during tough times.
I often times don’t feel worthy of the attention and support we get from the professionals who continue to touch our lives and love our Jakey. From the bus drivers to the lunch aides to the teachers we haven't even had yet. A simple thank you seems so trite when our hearts are bursting with appreciation and love for these outstanding individuals who are changing lives everyday.
-------------------------------------------------------
What goes on behind the garage door
February 7, 2011
They come from all walks of life: Musicians, journalists, business professionals, teachers (past/present), unsuspecting babysitters, sisters, in-laws, psychologists, big kids, little kids, their parents, and neighbors. Many have never had an extended one-on-one conversation with Jake until they are alone and until they swing.
Bundled in blankets, wearing hats, wrapped in scarves, friends (old/new) take a turn flying through our garage on a playground swing then dancing around with glow sticks to Jake’s shrieking sounds of delight. This honor however, comes with many requirements. You must sing (even if you can’t), play some sort of instrument (guitar, slide whistle, trombone), and do as Jake says! He can be quite insistent.
“Hold this here”, “the light needs to come through the blanket”, “sing loud and laugh louder so it comes out the garage”, “here take my vibrator thingy”, “do it again”,(and again and again) all commands from a child with a social disability. A kid whose communication skills develop in bursts and stutters to our amazement.
What friends do for our adorable and amazing Jake is ridiculous and revealing while productive and progressive. Visitors quickly learn letting loose and swinging can be therapeutic for all.
What happens in the garage, stays in the garage!!
What goes on behind the garage door
February 7, 2011
They come from all walks of life: Musicians, journalists, business professionals, teachers (past/present), unsuspecting babysitters, sisters, in-laws, psychologists, big kids, little kids, their parents, and neighbors. Many have never had an extended one-on-one conversation with Jake until they are alone and until they swing.
Bundled in blankets, wearing hats, wrapped in scarves, friends (old/new) take a turn flying through our garage on a playground swing then dancing around with glow sticks to Jake’s shrieking sounds of delight. This honor however, comes with many requirements. You must sing (even if you can’t), play some sort of instrument (guitar, slide whistle, trombone), and do as Jake says! He can be quite insistent.
“Hold this here”, “the light needs to come through the blanket”, “sing loud and laugh louder so it comes out the garage”, “here take my vibrator thingy”, “do it again”,(and again and again) all commands from a child with a social disability. A kid whose communication skills develop in bursts and stutters to our amazement.
What friends do for our adorable and amazing Jake is ridiculous and revealing while productive and progressive. Visitors quickly learn letting loose and swinging can be therapeutic for all.
What happens in the garage, stays in the garage!!
