Q & A with a Super Hero: Poop Patrol
This piece was written on the fly. I'm trying to understand why this child withholds to the point of pain. Turns out there are many reasons! He just needs to Let it Go!
(I have his full permission to publish this personal piece. I asked him twice!)
Dude! Why won’t you poop? It's been literally 8 days!
Because um sometimes there’s too many other things I cannot control.
Can you give me an example of something you can’t control?
Like distractions or people around.
So you need complete silence and isolation to go number 2?
Yes.
But there are people that live in this house… then what?
Yes. You can check on me but you all need to be all calm.
Is that why you won’t poop anywhere besides home?
Yes.
The problem with public bathrooms is there could be strange bad guys there.
What do you think they’ll do?
They might open my stall and make me uncomfortable.
Do you feel like you don’t have time to use the bathroom?
Yes.
Why?
Because there’s too much things to do.
Fun things?
Fun things and bad things.
Like what?
People talking to me or if we have to run an errand or go in public.
Are those things tiring for you or just time consuming?
Time consuming.
So how did we get off schedule to begin with?
Because we have lots of fun things in summer.
Like what?
Vacation, activities, yep. It's hard to poop when we are traveling.
Doesn’t your tummy hurt when you hold it?
Well, sometimes. But I try to go.
But waiting several days can make it harder, right?
Right, yes. Numerous days.
Will you go #2 at school?
Um, if I have an emergency and am allowed to leave class.
So how can we solve this problem of the poop? (laughing)
Well, I’m trying to take medicine (dulcolax) and I’d like three pooping pills and pooping powder (miralax).
((here I screamed))
Jake, three is way too many.
Why?
Because your poop will just fall out if it’s that soft.
Cool!!!
You eat veggies and fruit everyday.. and exercise. Isn’t it hard to hold it?
No. I have super strong butt muscles.
How can I make you poop?
Money! To buy apps. I was thinking about this. If I’m really nice and making a really big poop, I get the $99 one for Sims Freeplay… can I get that one, right?
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Yes, I want that one!
Jake, I refuse to pay for a stinky poop that I will have plunge!
Eye rolls. Heavy sigh.
Are we done? Are you going to poop without pay?
Yes!
Are we going to the doctor?
I’m gonna go I don’t want to go to a doctor.
This piece was written on the fly. I'm trying to understand why this child withholds to the point of pain. Turns out there are many reasons! He just needs to Let it Go!
(I have his full permission to publish this personal piece. I asked him twice!)
Dude! Why won’t you poop? It's been literally 8 days!
Because um sometimes there’s too many other things I cannot control.
Can you give me an example of something you can’t control?
Like distractions or people around.
So you need complete silence and isolation to go number 2?
Yes.
But there are people that live in this house… then what?
Yes. You can check on me but you all need to be all calm.
Is that why you won’t poop anywhere besides home?
Yes.
The problem with public bathrooms is there could be strange bad guys there.
What do you think they’ll do?
They might open my stall and make me uncomfortable.
Do you feel like you don’t have time to use the bathroom?
Yes.
Why?
Because there’s too much things to do.
Fun things?
Fun things and bad things.
Like what?
People talking to me or if we have to run an errand or go in public.
Are those things tiring for you or just time consuming?
Time consuming.
So how did we get off schedule to begin with?
Because we have lots of fun things in summer.
Like what?
Vacation, activities, yep. It's hard to poop when we are traveling.
Doesn’t your tummy hurt when you hold it?
Well, sometimes. But I try to go.
But waiting several days can make it harder, right?
Right, yes. Numerous days.
Will you go #2 at school?
Um, if I have an emergency and am allowed to leave class.
So how can we solve this problem of the poop? (laughing)
Well, I’m trying to take medicine (dulcolax) and I’d like three pooping pills and pooping powder (miralax).
((here I screamed))
Jake, three is way too many.
Why?
Because your poop will just fall out if it’s that soft.
Cool!!!
You eat veggies and fruit everyday.. and exercise. Isn’t it hard to hold it?
No. I have super strong butt muscles.
How can I make you poop?
Money! To buy apps. I was thinking about this. If I’m really nice and making a really big poop, I get the $99 one for Sims Freeplay… can I get that one, right?
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Yes, I want that one!
Jake, I refuse to pay for a stinky poop that I will have plunge!
Eye rolls. Heavy sigh.
Are we done? Are you going to poop without pay?
Yes!
Are we going to the doctor?
I’m gonna go I don’t want to go to a doctor.
