Q & A with a Super Hero:
"Not So Sweet Nothings"
2/14/2013
This is the first time Jake has had the opportunity to attend a school dance. The Sweetheart Day dance is held during school hours and gives all students a chance to socialize, exchange valentines, have snacks and listen to music.
I was so hoping he would enjoy this chance at a very NT tradition. He loves music. He loves to dance, sing and act goofy. But things don't always go quite the way they're planned. And the day started going downhill way before the dancing shoes came out.
Here's Jake's round-about version of the day. All the dancing, stimulation and distracting behavior included.
The questions, as usual, were asked during dinner and I type verbatim as we're talking. Tell me about the sweetheart dance at school today.
“It was fun. And I heard my “Ballroom Blitz!? I had popcorn and danced to it.”
(every kid got to request their favorite song. Ballroom Blitz was Jake's)
Was everyone dancing?
“Yes.”
Really?
“Yes.”
How did you dance? Fast or slow?
“I danced, how did I dance, wait, I danced fast. I did this”, waving arms in the air, doing like egg-beaters or helicopters... "Is that cool?"
Yep.
What other songs did they play?
“Um. Jingle Bells. Cheesecakes… do you know the Peanut Butter Jelly song?....I did not see the divider open.” (divider is the removable wall that divides the all purpose room between two schools.)
Oh they had it closed for your dance. Is that ok?
“Yes.”
Why do you like it open?
“The reason is one thing I looking at the air fans on the ceiling.”
Can you hear the fans?
“Yes.”
Do they spin?
“Yes.”
Can you see them spin?
“No”
How do you know they’re spinning then?
“I hear them go wwwhhhhoooo” (whistling wind noise)
What do you like about the fans?
“I really like what they look like, hanging boxes.”
{Gets up from table to go jump on trampoline.}
“I like to crash into the divider wall.”
Why?
“’Cuz it’s fun.”
Back to the dance. Did you dance with any friends?
“KA and M.” both teachers.
Did you dance with any kids?
“No.”
Why?
“Because lunch was not that great.”
What happened at lunch?
“I ate with Mr. T but couldn't focus on Jake.”
What happens when you don’t focus on Jake or What made you not focus on Jake?
“D…” other students.
What were they doing?
“He was screaming, crying, hitting punching and being ridiculous. He had to go to time out.”
So it’s hard to focus when someone in the room is upset? Is that right?
“Yes.”
Then what do you do?
“Peeking. Sneaking. Popping to go look at him when he’s upset.”
Why?
“Because it’s hard to focus on myself.”
When someone else is upset, why do you like to watch?
“Because when a grown up tells someone else… I want to look at their business. I like to see when other students get point adjustments on their sheets. They hold a hand out to walk to resource.“
Why? What about that is fun?
“Because he yells “NO”…” (funny wavering voice)..
So you get point adjustments also when you’re watching your friends?
“Yes.”
What do you say?
“NO”… in same wavering voice… (copying his friends only louder) We are friends so we say no together and be robots together.”
{back at table now}
So did you like the dance?
“Yes. They gave me bonus points.”
For what?
“Looking and focusing on myself.”
Where there a lot of kids in the gym?
“Yes! You know how much? 30!”
Wow. And that didn’t bother you?
“Yes it did. But I saw my friend J. I like her, she’s better than L because she talks and she’s a cute little bunny rabbit.”
What does that mean?
“That means she chews carrots a lot.”
Do you like girls that chew carrots?
“YYYYeeeeaaaahhhh… Miss. C too!”
I thought you didn’t like to hear people eating crunchy food?
“Well, I don’t want to SEE the gross crunching food. Mouth open chewing” (demonstrating here with tongue hanging out of mouth).
So what happened when friends started handing out valentines?
“Um. I got upset … disappointed.”
Why couldn’t you handle it?
He is now answering my questions in a loud YELLING voice.
“Well – for Valentines day, when people bring out cards sometimes it’s sometimes it’s stuff I don’t like. I got all super man and spider man and a singing frog stuff that I don’t like. I want something that I really care about that I really really like… not stuff for babies.”
So you think that the valentine cards you get are too baby-ish?
STILL YELLING.
“Yeas… I’m a big boy! You need to treat me like an older boy… I’m over spider man and baby stuff like things I used to get when I was “baby Jake”. I don’t want to be treated like a baby and that’s not ok! Next time I only want Wow Wow Wubzy, Little Bill or Backyardigans… (HAHA such grown up toys). The more yucky stuff I get the more crabbier I am. I like iPads and real stuff that I like!!!”
Is it the fact that you don’t like the cards or is it the fact that you don’t know what they’re going to give you?
“It’s the not knowing part.”
Excellent Jake.
“I wanted to go out in the hall and quit this class.”
So what did you do?
“I took a break and went in the tent (in class) and I had my ipod to write it.”
Did you go talk to social worker.
“Yea… I talked with her. She said it’s a silly scary thing.”
REALLY YELLING NOW.
“I just hate the holidays. I’m quitting Valentines day for school. Everybody giving me stuff and make me do something special they don’t care what it’s going to be. It’s hard to do my reading and math when there is a special. I try so hard at my classes, but special events make me want to crash into the walls!”
So what do you think we can do for next year?
“Try harder.”
“Get Sam.”
“I’m done.”
“Can I go watch Wubzy now?”
"Not So Sweet Nothings"
2/14/2013
This is the first time Jake has had the opportunity to attend a school dance. The Sweetheart Day dance is held during school hours and gives all students a chance to socialize, exchange valentines, have snacks and listen to music.
I was so hoping he would enjoy this chance at a very NT tradition. He loves music. He loves to dance, sing and act goofy. But things don't always go quite the way they're planned. And the day started going downhill way before the dancing shoes came out.
Here's Jake's round-about version of the day. All the dancing, stimulation and distracting behavior included.
The questions, as usual, were asked during dinner and I type verbatim as we're talking. Tell me about the sweetheart dance at school today.
“It was fun. And I heard my “Ballroom Blitz!? I had popcorn and danced to it.”
(every kid got to request their favorite song. Ballroom Blitz was Jake's)
Was everyone dancing?
“Yes.”
Really?
“Yes.”
How did you dance? Fast or slow?
“I danced, how did I dance, wait, I danced fast. I did this”, waving arms in the air, doing like egg-beaters or helicopters... "Is that cool?"
Yep.
What other songs did they play?
“Um. Jingle Bells. Cheesecakes… do you know the Peanut Butter Jelly song?....I did not see the divider open.” (divider is the removable wall that divides the all purpose room between two schools.)
Oh they had it closed for your dance. Is that ok?
“Yes.”
Why do you like it open?
“The reason is one thing I looking at the air fans on the ceiling.”
Can you hear the fans?
“Yes.”
Do they spin?
“Yes.”
Can you see them spin?
“No”
How do you know they’re spinning then?
“I hear them go wwwhhhhoooo” (whistling wind noise)
What do you like about the fans?
“I really like what they look like, hanging boxes.”
{Gets up from table to go jump on trampoline.}
“I like to crash into the divider wall.”
Why?
“’Cuz it’s fun.”
Back to the dance. Did you dance with any friends?
“KA and M.” both teachers.
Did you dance with any kids?
“No.”
Why?
“Because lunch was not that great.”
What happened at lunch?
“I ate with Mr. T but couldn't focus on Jake.”
What happens when you don’t focus on Jake or What made you not focus on Jake?
“D…” other students.
What were they doing?
“He was screaming, crying, hitting punching and being ridiculous. He had to go to time out.”
So it’s hard to focus when someone in the room is upset? Is that right?
“Yes.”
Then what do you do?
“Peeking. Sneaking. Popping to go look at him when he’s upset.”
Why?
“Because it’s hard to focus on myself.”
When someone else is upset, why do you like to watch?
“Because when a grown up tells someone else… I want to look at their business. I like to see when other students get point adjustments on their sheets. They hold a hand out to walk to resource.“
Why? What about that is fun?
“Because he yells “NO”…” (funny wavering voice)..
So you get point adjustments also when you’re watching your friends?
“Yes.”
What do you say?
“NO”… in same wavering voice… (copying his friends only louder) We are friends so we say no together and be robots together.”
{back at table now}
So did you like the dance?
“Yes. They gave me bonus points.”
For what?
“Looking and focusing on myself.”
Where there a lot of kids in the gym?
“Yes! You know how much? 30!”
Wow. And that didn’t bother you?
“Yes it did. But I saw my friend J. I like her, she’s better than L because she talks and she’s a cute little bunny rabbit.”
What does that mean?
“That means she chews carrots a lot.”
Do you like girls that chew carrots?
“YYYYeeeeaaaahhhh… Miss. C too!”
I thought you didn’t like to hear people eating crunchy food?
“Well, I don’t want to SEE the gross crunching food. Mouth open chewing” (demonstrating here with tongue hanging out of mouth).
So what happened when friends started handing out valentines?
“Um. I got upset … disappointed.”
Why couldn’t you handle it?
He is now answering my questions in a loud YELLING voice.
“Well – for Valentines day, when people bring out cards sometimes it’s sometimes it’s stuff I don’t like. I got all super man and spider man and a singing frog stuff that I don’t like. I want something that I really care about that I really really like… not stuff for babies.”
So you think that the valentine cards you get are too baby-ish?
STILL YELLING.
“Yeas… I’m a big boy! You need to treat me like an older boy… I’m over spider man and baby stuff like things I used to get when I was “baby Jake”. I don’t want to be treated like a baby and that’s not ok! Next time I only want Wow Wow Wubzy, Little Bill or Backyardigans… (HAHA such grown up toys). The more yucky stuff I get the more crabbier I am. I like iPads and real stuff that I like!!!”
Is it the fact that you don’t like the cards or is it the fact that you don’t know what they’re going to give you?
“It’s the not knowing part.”
Excellent Jake.
“I wanted to go out in the hall and quit this class.”
So what did you do?
“I took a break and went in the tent (in class) and I had my ipod to write it.”
Did you go talk to social worker.
“Yea… I talked with her. She said it’s a silly scary thing.”
REALLY YELLING NOW.
“I just hate the holidays. I’m quitting Valentines day for school. Everybody giving me stuff and make me do something special they don’t care what it’s going to be. It’s hard to do my reading and math when there is a special. I try so hard at my classes, but special events make me want to crash into the walls!”
So what do you think we can do for next year?
“Try harder.”
“Get Sam.”
“I’m done.”
“Can I go watch Wubzy now?”
