I don't often do this, but if I am a real human parent of a special needs child, I doubt, question and hurt like everyone else. It's an effort some days to focus on the positives, but I will not live my life from a place of anger and fear.
Most of my recent funk has to do with my own insecurities and questioning decisions we've made recently and has nothing to do with my awesome kid on the spectrum.
We've recently decided, maybe crazily, to write a book. We've decided on a title, I've decided on a format and was very excited. But I'm finding myself feeling embarrassed when I tell people that Jake and I are embarking on this project.
Part of me feels guilty for having a kid that is very verbal and in touch with his feelings. The other part feels like, "who the hell wants to hear from me and my kid anyway?"
Could it be I was just expecting different reactions ? I fully believe Jake and I can offer insight into the autism brain for parents and professionals, but hate being at these doubting crossroads. Kicking myself for even announcing our project. More thought and meditation needed.
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