We learned very quickly that yelling at Jake backfires and only escalates the situation, but a raised negative voice does much more than that. Those pain-filled words are seared into his brain as he obsesses on the negative emotion-packed words. So we've set out to eliminate the negative, no small task.
Every reprimand includes a positive twist and it has paid off. Now when Jake is in stressful situations he draws on all the talk we've programmed. It usually sounds something like, "we know you are a super smart boy, but maybe if you slowed down and thought about blah blah blah." OR "Mommy and Daddy love how brave you are. Next time let's talk before you try this on your own."
Think about it: Do you want your child drawing on phrases like "why did you do that?", "what were you thinking?" and "how on earth....?" or would you rather have, "let's make a Super Hero (big man) choice next time", "slow your super brain down, you are brave", or "Wow, let's talk through this, you can do it....."?
Positive lessons may seem like a lot more work, they are! Staying positive requires us to keep our cool heads in a time of frustration. It will pay off by building confidence and independence in your budding Super Hero! The extra brain power on your part will be worth it.