Out of Control.
While warmer weather brings more daylight to play and frolic it also brings more violent weather, less control and more fear swirling in Jake's super brain like its own cyclone. I struggled to get Jake in bed tonight as the words "tornado watch" and "severe thunderstorm warning" texted into his phone, came across the television, blasted from his favorite radio station.
Jake has such fear about the weather and I cannot assure him that we won't lose power, have wind damage or otherwise. With the new and unpredictable global weather patterns, I don't know if anyone can predict it accurately and even that won't calm his internal storm.
He sits up in his room, buried in his weighted blanket, just thinking about losing the house, sleeping in the basement, getting struck by lightening or worse, being picked up in a tornado. Such fear, anxiety and uncertainty. We all have it, but work to mask it.
Tonight while I was teaching (in the basement studio) he texted me from his bedroom, "I'm worried something is going to happen to me." I didn't get the text until :30 minutes later. His words pierced my heart and his attempts to call me on facetime in his fear scrolled on my iPhone screen. "Missed Facetime Call (4)".
Oh gosh, I failed him. I wasn't there when he felt scared.
I ran up to his room, trying to stay calm but desperate for him not to see my emotions as well. While I usually have an answer for just about everything, or can fake it, I didn't have an answer this time.
I can't control the weather.
No, God is not mad at him.
We are safe.
While I'm thrilled he is able to verbalize his fear and seek out reassurance, his words can be so, just so.
Open to calming suggestions on this one friends!