While we have numerous photos of Jake's birth-mother, we have nothing about his birth-father. So every time he asks me, "do I look like my birth-father?" I just say yes and hold my breath, waiting for the impossible follow-up.
Clearly Jake favors his African heritage, more than the English-German half, so I'm not really lying. Part of me is curious from a distance. It has bothered me that we know nothing about him, especially medical history.
Adoption experts have told us these questions would happen, even though I was secretly hoping they wouldn't. He's entitled to know, but how much is appropriate? How much will be perseverative?
I think now that puberty is upon us, Jake is really looking for someone who "looks like him" to relate to. More and more questions bubble to the surface, daily. We are blessed in one regard, that this is all very typical.
Do we reopen that can of worms? We still don't know how to explain the role of the mysterious birth-father to kid who doesn't fully understand so much about the miracle of life!
Hoping for strength and prayers as we embark on and contemplate more very difficult and possibly life-changing questions.